Journaling

Journaling has been a habit for me since high school.

I used to be quite the sloppy thinker.  Actually I emoted more than I reasoned.  I was by no means unintelligent.  Just undisciplined and illogical, encouraged by the spirit of rebellion festering in the '70's.

I've also had a double infection - staph and Epstein Barr Virus (EBV) - since my teens.  (Didn't know it until recently.)  These infections cause cloudy brain function.

The brain fog combined with the undisciplined thinking made for a lot of confusion and noise in my noggin.  Most days found my active brain teeming with ideas and thoughts - and I would feel overwhelmed.  It seemed  there were 50 ping pong balls bouncing around in there.  If they'd only be STILL, and get in line, then I could think properly!

My solution was to journal.  I'd grab a ping pong ball, read what was inscribed on it, then record that in my journal.  Then I'd pluck another ball, read it, then write it down.  And so on, until I had captured the last, lone elusive thought on paper.  And guess what?  There weren't 50 balls (thoughts).  There were only maybe 7 or 8.  They just seemed numerous because they were always moving around!  Writing them down not only tamed them, but helped me realistically evaluate the quantity and scope of my thoughts and feelings.  I could order them on paper.

I've owned some fancy journals, with pretty designs on the outside, or scrollwork down the page borders.  But my favorite and most common format is the humble spiral notebook.  Fifteen cents at Wal-Mart in August.  The 70-pager seems to be a manageable size for me.  When I begin a fresh notebook, I just write my name on the front with a fat marker in large block letters.  Then I record the beginning date followed by a dash.  The ending date is added to the front when I use the last page.

I used to have a separate notebook to record the books I've read.  About 3 years ago, I struck upon the idea of writing that list on the back of my journal (that cheap notebook).  I like that idea - it's very convenient, and most of my books actually get recorded.

I not only write my thoughts, but I record events and even paste in cards from friends, or magazine clippings, or some other piece of paper I think worth saving for posterity.

I express my frustrations and joys, and write out my prayers to the Lord.  Sometimes I'm too honest, and think about it later.  What if someone found this and read it?  Yikes!  Then I go back and black out the incriminating words!  Too bad for my posterity.  They'll never know what I meant there!  Ha!  It was only meant as therapy for my confused soul, only for the eyes of the Lord.  Seeing it written out somehow helps me think better.

Do you journal?  Let me hear from you how you think that has helped you and why you do it.

With writer's cramp,
Hester